So This Is What It Feels Like

I have worked in the medical field for 12 years. I have explained to plenty of women what to experience with Lupron injections and the benefit of add back hormone therapy so they are more comfortable. I also discussed with women the varying symptoms of menopause. It is not until this very moment that I know what it means.

Holy Hot Flashes

It's Getting Hot In Here

During this part of the process I take a daily injection of Lupron to suppress my ovaries. For the first week I thought, This isn't so bad, I feel great! Then I stopped the birth control, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha  Ya, so this is menopause. Hot flashes, headaches, bloating, acne, and bleh no appetite. Although, not as bad as I thought and only temporary. 

I would assume there would be mood changes but I am ssooooooo excited about this whole process that I don't notice. Maybe I should check with my husband!! I am just so excited about every step we go through!

In non hormone related news we are finishing up the contract which should be done any day and then we can really look forward to the big day which is anticipated to be 27 days from today.

 Seriously the infertility world is huge and sometimes it feels like some people on the "outside" don't know it exists. Once you are on the inside, it is mind boggling how huge the support system is. My Intended parents have so many people there for them. Besides their own family they have their Doctors, nursing staff, support groups, attorney, The surrogacy agency, and Me (of course) I know I feel like amazing things are happening. It is really cool to have so many people helping me with my questions big or small. I have my fellow surrogacy ladies who have all experienced this beautiful journey before and they know the ins and outs and simply have a perspective. My favorite lady at my agency, Rocky Mountain Surrogacy. The cycle coordinator at the fertility clinic who keep me and my Intended Parents on track every step of the way, My attorney, my husband, my children, the little bundle of ladies at my work who have done IVF for themselves. Through all that, can you see the love it takes to bring a family together? I do and believe me, it radiates love.

Until next time! I love you!

Fed Ex Delivery

My first thought.

Holy Drugs

I received the medication for the Surrogacy this week. I saw the box and figured that due to the size it probably was full of bubble wrap to protect the vials.

Nope

That box was full of everything that I will need medication wise in addition to syringes, needles, alcohol pads and even a cute little bio-hazard box. Makes it pretty intimidating but I can do anything. I even have a fun little calendar that says what injection and/or pill is given or taken at what time and what day in addition to imaging and blood collection orders.

Wow

The most amazing part of this is that we have come to the point in the journey that we tell my children what is going on. We had not told them yet because there is nothing more fun than the repetitive questions of "whats going on" that come from adorable children. Now I know, now I can tell them. Anyway, we told the two oldest girls (cause the 2 year old doesn't care) and they both had amazing answers. My 9 year old said that was so nice of me to do and wants to get something for the parents when their baby is born. My 6 year old said "OK, can I have some of my Halloween candy." So funny!

Now comes the time for bravery!! Uh oh. 

I am not a fan of needles so on the first day of injections I needed to call my 6 year old into the room so that I could be brave in front of her, and she thinks this medical stuff is so cool. It is easy to be brave in front of my children. That also made it easier to do it today, day 2, because now I know that it does not hurt.
This is an amazing journey and it makes my days so bright.

Until next time  remember I love you!!!

In The Beginning

Let's start at the very beginning. A very good place to start. When you read you begin with A B C. When you sing you begin with Do Re Mi.

And when you help another to build their family you complete your own first.

About 10 years ago my Husband and I had gone through approximately 4.5 years of unsuccessfully having children. There were a lot of tears and a lot of anger and a lot of unanswered questions. By keeping our faith strong we had the Answers placed in our path. Then with the help of some amazing Doctors we were able to finally create our family and have been blessed with our sweet Bear who is now 9 years old. Two years later we tried again and, after one miscarriage, we were blessed with our little Wee Bug who is 6. Finally, after my Husband completed his Masters Degree we completed our Family with the most amazing girl B Berry who is 2 years old. I love them all and I do not know where I would be without them in my life. They are all my life and I thank God every day that the Answers were placed in our path so that we could have this family.
I feel the pain of the patients, at the Doctors office I work at, as they discover and then struggle month after month to create their family. My answer to them when they ask what now after a unsuccessful cycle is to go home, have a good cry, eat a comforting treat and then when the time comes then go at it again.
I, through prayer and research and a desire to see others complete their family, have found Surrogacy. There have been many surrogates who have come through my work who complete this type of journey for another. I also have friends who have completed a journey or two as well, and it is the smiles and tears and excitement of helping make anothers dream come true that has brought me where I am. It has been close to a year since I discussed it with my husband, filled out the application and faxed it in to Rocky Mountain Surrogacy. I am not pregnant yet but I am already experiencing people who are baffled as to why I would want to go through 9 months of pregnancy labor and delivery just to hand off  the baby to someone else. Well, I am not handing a baby I carried to someone else. I am blessing a family with their biological child. Yes, I understand the hormones that surge and the emotions that fly during and after pregnancy and I also know how it hurts to not have a baby in my arms. I also know how it feels to have a baby in my arms. That love is going to carry me and my Intended Parents, and I want more than anything in my being to give that to them.
I had been matched and sadly it did not work out and I have moved on to find that couple that I am meant to be with. They are amazing and they have been together so long and love each other so much and are ready to make their family bigger. I am honored to be that person who gets to do that for them.
I am writing this blog for those people who love as I do. I am writing for the nay sayers, I am writing for those who are curious of the process and the strength. I am also writing to spread the happiness that I have been keeping all bottled up inside myself as my husband and I and my Intended Parents go through this journey. Did I mention how excited that I am?
Thank you and Welcome