It Is Not The End

For about 2 weeks we tried to remain relaxed on modified bed rest. My blood pressure decided to be unkind to me. That's not nice because I am not one to sit still for very long. I like to get things done. My husband has been very helpful as well as my children. My two oldest girls, who are 7 and 10, have become very proficient in the changing of the laundry. That was a great help!!!!! 

It was also nice because I got to read 4 books in the matter of a week. Which was fun but I think it may have added to my lack of sleep for the three days before the babies were born. You read that right the babies are born.

Friday 11th of August I had my last doctors appointment and between my doctors concerns, my blood pressure, and talking to my intended parents it was decided to have the babies. I got my steroid shots and decided to do a little shopping for my children. My children have been wonderful in this entire experience. I told them what we were doing from the beginning and what it meant in helping people have a family. Not once did they complain about the pregnancy, ask to keep any of the babies, want to meet the babies or do anything for them. They wanted to take care of mommy and they wanted to help somebody have a family so I decided they deserve the reward and I got all three of my daughters a lovely gift to give to them after the babies were born. Then I went home and spent the rest of the day in bed bringing my blood pressure back down because I went shopping and that was bad.

Something else that I did do was contact my fellow surrogates and ask them if this was going to be hard. This is not been hard for me yet and I have felt very strongly that I have set myself up mentally to walk out of this with no problems, but then we also don't know what is going to happen until it happens and the hormones start surging and things change. Everyone is different but I felt confident even after talking to my friends who've done this before that everything would be OK.

Sunday August  13, 2017 at 6:00am

My husband and I and the intended parents arrived at the hospital for check in. I got my name bracelet, I changed into my hospital gown, and got all hooked up to machines to hear the heartbeat and monitor contractions. We were all pleasantly surprised to find out that I was already dilated to a four. That is very encouraging when you have a long day of labor ahead of you. The IV was started after the second poke of the needle and then the IV fluid and Pitocin started flowing. I could feel the tightening of the contractions but wasn't having any pain which is wonderful to experience but not very encouraging when I wanted to wait until I was in pain to get the epidural and I didn't know when that would start. I also didn't want to wait very long to get the epidural so we just did it before I was in pain. I didn't like it too much but it was done and a good thing to because it seems like labor went much quicker after that.

Approx. 4:15pm

It became time to deliver the babies! I had that special feeling and the nurse checked! Sure enough, I was right and it was time to deliver.

The original idea was that the parents would be in the delivery room. But with this being a twin pregnancy and the second baby was in a breech position it was necessary to deliver in the OR in case a cesarean was needed. So the plan for the parents changed and they went to the nursery which is where the babies were being handed as soon as they were delivered.

Once they were situated I got rolled to the OR and made all comfy cozy. Baby A was delivered after 4-5 contractions, and handed off to the waiting staff. She has been named Prim. That is when the fun challenge of turning baby B around started. It didn't seem to take too long and my Dr Gundersen was able to get her where she needed to be and the pushing started again. She was born exactly 30 minutes later and handed off to the nursing staff. She has been named Lily. 

After that the attention was set to making my bleeding stopped and cleaned up, epidural out and switched to my new bed then I was escorted to my new suite for my stay. As long as I wasn't being poked and prodded I was very comfortable, who wouldn't be!!!

6:40pm

Methergin, cervidil, ancef, and tordol were are a few of the things I got settled down with. My mom was able to bring my children to me so that I could get my snuggles in. I also got to give them their gifts that I bought for them, they loved them!!!! It was a wonderful time. Then I sent them home to sleep (including poor tired David) it had been a long day and everyone needed to just sleep and the girlies needed their daddy.

Once I was finally alone I crocheted and had a little Gilmore Girls marathon until my eye balls closed of their own free will. It was a very restful night with only a couple night time visits from the nursing team dream fairies. 

Hospital Time/Babies/Going Home

How did I feel? It seems like this is the question on everyone's mind now that the babies are born and with their parents. I feel like exactly what was supposed to happen has happened. I gave a wonderful, happy, and deserving family two more family members and they could not be any happier. Their smiles couldn't have been bigger and their hugs couldn't have been tighter. I am so happy for them. I feel blessed and this is the only way I can describe what I feel that someone else could understand. 

There is that moment when you see your own children and your heart melts at the over whelming and indescribable love that you have for them. Then there is that moment when you see a friends baby and hold them and admire how cute they are, then you hand them back their baby and wish them congratulations. I had the second emotion. I will love those babies but I love them like I love my friends kids or my nieces and nephews. I am completely happy, content and at peace with this. 

God has blessed me in immeasurable ways through this entire experience and I could never be more grateful for this success to him than I am at this moment. At the end when we were dealing with blood pressure and modified bed rest I know that I was able to make it because of the Priesthood blessing and the many prayers that were given on behalf of me and the babies for everyone to be happy and healthy.

I am happy to answer any questions. And I will continue to share my thoughts and experiences for the next few weeks as the families are complete.

34 weeks

We have made it to 34 weeks.

 I had made a great decision to go to the Blue Angels air show last weekend with my family and friends, I even took in extra water over what was allowed because of the pregnancy (and if you are a vendor who was there I did purchase water also). But despite all this water intake I still spent the next day dehydrated. I spent the entire Sunday laying in bed with a killer migraine that spread through my jaw and head and being achy and tired and nauseous. I even got the pleasantry, in all this discomfort, of baby b flipping, the downside of this is that it hurt the upside is that now both babies are headed down so I guess we take the good with the bad. Ending the day being sick of water but feeling much better. Despite all that drama, the blue Angels and all the aerobatic planes and skydivers and other events throughout the day were a lot of fun and I would do it again.

I am sure that the intended parents are having as much fun as I am as they prepare to bring babies home. The nursery is all ready to go, they are stock piling diapers, they have had baby showers and are waiting. I remember the excitement having my own girls. Making sure that everything was put together, washed, folded and packed to be ready to go at a moments notice. I am a planner person and I like to know when things are going to happen so pregnancy, labor, and delivery are very unpredictable so it's frustrating. I can only imagine how exciting and nerve-racking it can be living a couple hundred miles away not knowing when your babies are going to be born. My Husband would jump at every little noise I would make thinking something was happening, he eventually learned that standing up requires grunting because it is hard to do.

It is nice, in this surrogacy, having those people who want to hear everything that's going on. How are you feeling today? are you feeling better today? I hope you have a great weekend? is there anything that we can do for you?And then follow up on doctors appointments making sure I'm relaxing. I really enjoy sending ultrasound pictures especially the 3D ones that look so much like a real baby and gives mommy and daddy and idea of what they are going to look like. 

Yesterday I had a headache and overall did not feel good. I checked my blood pressure and it was elevated so we had several tests done which all came back good. But the headache remained and the blood pressure stays elevated so I took it easy and today I am taking it easy also. I felt bad worrying the parents with what was going on and even contemplated keeping it to myself just so that they wouldn't worry unless something was actually going on but in any scenario the babies are theirs and it's the right thing to do, so I messaged them letting them know what was going on and keeping them posted. I did feel bad worrying them but in the end of the day everything is ok!!!! 

The thank you and appreciations touch my heart strings. It brings tears to my eyes when we talk about how God made us come together to make this happen. Because none of it would happen without God.

Until next time, 

. . .I am going to go get a pedicure!

Getting There

In the beginning of the pregnancy I wanted to sleep and that was about it. We are now in the third trimester, 31 weeks to be exact, and I want to sleep again. Maybe not so much that I want to sleep, because I want to get stuff done, more that my body wants me to sleep. For example I am nodding off while I write this post. . . .

. . . . There that is better!

While I sit around trying to take it easy, trying to not let my house fall apart, letting my feet swell, and enjoying the summer sunshine; Mommy and Daddy are well on their way to being all ready for these little girls. I believe that the "Twin Cave" is ready to go for the most part. Big sister has bags packed in case these girls come early. They had a baby shower at the end of last month and everyone is waiting. The girls are named after flowers so Daddy has planted the beautiful flowers they are named after and they are blooming and are sooooo beautiful. I am excited for them to take these girls home and love all over them!!

In growing land, we are 31 weeks and have been doing the "every 2 week" appointments since 28 weeks. After the next appointment in one week then we will go weekly appointments with amniotic fluid ultrasounds and non stress tests at those appointments and growth ultrasounds once a month. Oh my goodness!!!

I know I say this a lot and I am sure I will say it a million more times. Mom and Dad are very excited to have these babies and I am excited for them to take them. It has been a great journey so far.

"I am 16 going on 17"

It seems that when I am thinking of post titles a song from favorite movies pops in my head. This is the second one from The Sound of Music.

I am sixteen going on seventeen

innocent as a rose

Or we can switch some words and make it;

I am 24 going on 32 

weeks so large with twins

Sometime I think I am the only one that thinks that I am funny. 

Regardless, I am 25weeks gestation now with these little princesses. Last Wednesday was the day of the great GTT (glucose tolerance test) screening for gestational diabetes and I PASSED with a score of 133. I cannot say  how completely shocked I was to pass the test. But I am excited that I did pass so I'll take it. The Doctor measured the good old uterus at 32 cm. Bleh, sooooo big, I guess I will take it.
 The next appointment will be when I am 26 weeks. This is when I start seeing the doctor every two weeks and having a growth ultrasound once a month.  We need to make sure those babies grow about the same pace and stay healthy. It seems like, well to me anyway, that this pregnancy is just flying by. That could be a good thing, actually is very good thing.  People always think that they have nine months to prepare for baby to come but unbeknownst to them those nine months fly by so fast. There's nothing that I need to prepare for, besides giving birth, but the parents do and it is coming fast.  They have been cleaning out the man cave turning it into the twin cave, as the intended dad called it, they have been painting and buy lots of clothes in carriers and lots of other supplies. I am so excited for them to be able to take these little twins home with them and put all their preparations to use.

Happy Mothers Day

This is a very special Mothers Day for me. Not only am I a Mother to three absolutely amazing little girls who I love more than words can say but I am also a Surrogate for an amazing Mom who is  so excited to take home two amazing little girls of her own.
I know that there are a lot of people out there who think and tell me, "how can you do this, it must be so hard" or, "I would never be able to do what you are doing." Let me tell you, this has been such a blessing in my life. Nothing in my life has been as easy as this. My own pregnancies were even more uncomfortable than this. The Intended Parents are so kind, happy, excited, nervous and full of love. My husband and children are so happy and understanding and excited.
I also know God is on my side, from the beginning I always prayed that I needed him to tell me if I would not be able to do this and to stop; and if I am meant to do this then I will need his help getting through it. As a result, every step has been so easy and happy and exciting. My midwife even told me she is shocked at how much of a breeze this has been and she was expecting so much more discomfort or problems. I don't know! I would never trade this life decision for another in the entire world.
I always remember through all of my pregnancies and I remember even now an event that occurred when I was 18 years old. While I was taking a preparing for eternal marriage class at the Institute when I was going to WSU. The teacher asked the class why they wanted to have children. There were  numerous answers like; they are so cute, it will be a part of me, I want one, etc. I said, "it is what I am created for, I am a woman and my body was made to create life." Men can't have children, I can have children. That moment has always stuck with me.
I am a Mother to Sera, Leah, and Rebekah. They make me so happy with all of their accomplishments. They also make me crazy, angry, sad, tired and excited and I would not trade a single moment of it for the entire world. I am a Surro Mom to Twin Girls who will bless their Mommy (and dad) in the same way.
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY
TO ALL THE MOTHERS OUT THERE

Yesterday was plain awful

You know that song at the end of the show "Annie"
Yesterday was plain awful
You can say that again
Yesterday was plain awful
But that's
Not now
That's then

It really was not that awful. It was more hilariously embarrassing.! Everything would make me tear up. I was talking to a coworker about my children and other family members, got teary. My plans of having a hot dog at lunch were cancelled and I seriously almost cried (don't worry I got one for dinner). My 2.5 year old didn't get her medication for her asthma when I was expecting her to and I cried. My 7 year old was coached by the head team coach at gymnastics which I think is a big deal and I teared up. Then finally in the book I was reading the 18 year old girl was chosen by her boyfriend when his ex-fiancé returned and tried to rekindle that old flame, guess what, I cried.
That was then, not now.
Today is a new day and I was in a non tearful mood and happy and laughing and joking with my coworkers. My children were even super enjoyable at the end of the day 😏and it was great!!! I am sure there are plenty of other women out there who understand this amazing and emotional roller coaster.

Besides just being plain happy! I did have that 20 week appt with the amazing Dr Gundersen 2 weeks ago. Babies look great but baby A is breech so we will have to see if she flips or is set in her ways. The good old uterus measured at a whopping 27 weeks. Wow!!!! Other than that, I have murderous acid reflux which is only occasional so I started taking Zantac when needed. The next appt will be at 24 weeks which is 2 weeks from now I will do the glucose tolerance test. (No the test is not that bad. Regardless of what you mother told you when she did it 20+ years ago). I will most likely pass because I always have but until then!!!!!
HAVE A GREAT DAY

GENDER REVEAL

I am writing this post in the middle of having an ultrasound done. Mom, Dad, and big sister are here to see the little wiggle babies and find out their genders. The guesses so far are; for mom two boys, for dad one of each and for big sister the guess is also two boys.
So far we have A GIRL!!!
If we can get this little girl to roll over we could get a profile of her, otherwise she is healthy and perfect.
We got a small reprieve from her because baby B gave a perfect profile. Now back to Baby A!!!
And Baby B is a GIRL
Two little girls for my Intended Parents!! How exciting!
They are going to have so much fun with them. I should know, I have three girls of my own at home and they are just bundle of hormones and adventure.
This is a happy day
Congrats to my Intended Parents and their family.
Tomorrow is my doctors appt so we will make sure I am doing great at that point but right now babies are perfect!!!

16 weeks

So we have come to the end o of the 16th week of this pregnancy. It seems a little early but I feel the babies moving. Of course like not kicks and punches but more like pressure as they try to take up the same space. It is always such an interesting sensation to experience. I got to send the mom and dad more recordings of the babies heart beats and I know that that they enjoy it so much. I remember hearing my own babies heartbeats and the peace of mind it brought me and the happiness in my heart hearing my sweet daughters.

We are measuring the belly at about 19 weeks which is just about on for 16 week twins. Growing good!!

The next exciting point is when mom and dad make there way back to Idaho falls for the complete ultrasound. That is a very exciting point in the pregnancy because mom and dad get to see baby A and B from head to toe and count all their little fingers and toes and make sure everything has developed, see their little profiles and of course, are they boys? Girls? One of each? Well, next month they will find out!!

This is such an exciting time and I am just greatful that I am allowed to be a part of it!!!

14 Weeks (Some things normal, some things bizarre)

Five weeks ago we had an amazing Ultrasound. I say that it was amazing because I got to be in the same room as my Intended Parents for the first time. I just need to say that I thought they were amazing people via skype and text message but they are even more amazing people in person, so happy and so excited, it is like my soul has known them forever. It was fun to have the ultrasound done with them watching in aww at their little babies on the monitor. I am so excited for them!! 

Since then it has been day in and day out experiences of the average pregnancy. Mostly tired and going to bed by 8:30-9:00pm every night, nausea and the occasional vomiting, food aversions, breast tenderness, round ligament pain, and making sure that Mom and Dad know whats going on. So nothing exciting or monumental. I do, however get super excited when I have a good day and have energy and an appetite, I take advantage of it. Also, I am that stage in the pregnancy where I do not look pregnant, I just look like I am gaining weight. Even though the people around me cannot see it, I can feel the uterus growing, feels like it is a couple finger widths below my belly button, definitely bigger than a single pregnancy.

At 12 weeks I had my routine doctor appointment, now if you have had a pregnancy you know that there are more uneventful visits than there are eventful visits. At 12 weeks the Doctor listened to the heart beats and even tried to get them on the doppler at the same time, I appreciate the effort!! It was nice to be able to inform the parents that their little angels are doing good. The next visit will be at 16 weeks, which is at 2 weeks and that will again be uneventful. It is the 20 week visit in April that should be fun, and hopefully Mom and Dad can either come to or skype into.

Oh, but there are the super crazy fun part about being pregnant and that is the cracked out dreams. The last one that just threw me for a loop was a dream I had about having the babies. I took myself into the side door of a hospital and found an empty room, did my own c-section and had two little girls. Then afterwards I couldn't get anyone who works at the hospital to come close me up because on their records there was no one admitted to that room. Well duh, I let myself in a side door and the room was empty so I took it. The Intended Mom came a short while later and I helped her bundle the little girls up to go home with her and I waved goodbye to them. Then my Doctor came cruising around the corner (obviously late) and wrecked her car in the ditch. It was super weird. Almost as weird as with my last baby that I would take out and cuddle with when I wanted and then would put back when I was done. Ya, pregnancy dreams are bizarre. 

Nope

 My sister asked me a question yesterday "do you wish they were yours?"  I didn't even have to hesitate I just answered "Nope"
 15 months ago when I started this journey the goal I had in my mind was to help a couple have a family.  I knew that it will be emotional.  If we get scientific the emotions are from all those hormones surging  through your body in pregnancy. We are supposed to bond with this unborn life with a beating heart. Then, the need to bond with our newly born child once it's entered this world.
 But what my brain tells me which is beyond science itself is that I am helping create a family and these are not my biological children they belong to a beautiful couple who are the intended parents. And in my heart I can only  see the tears and emotions being happiness and joy as these children go home with their parents . So when I am asked if I wish they were mine I can't even hesitate because I know where they belong and I know what God has intended them for. So, nope they are not mine and I don't wish them to be. I wish them to belong to their mom and dad.
 In the beginning of this when I had my psych consult, which is required to be a gestational carrier, she gave me a word of advice which my husband and I thought was completely brilliant and that is that once the delivery is over and everything is all sorted out that my husband bring my own children in for me to cuddle and bond with and then my body gets what it needs to bond with something.
 I love my children there's no one else in the world I want to be my children they're beautiful and precious and they all have their own little personalities and I love my children completely. But, I'm done having children I do not feel in my heart that desire for more children  like I did before my family was complete. That urge to be baby hungry is gone I'm done so I know that it makes it even more easier for me to help those who are having a hard time or have had a hard time having a family of their own.
To my sister!  That was an excellent question, thank you !!

Ultrasound Results

 Have you ever heard the saying that good things come in pairs? I think I believe that there are shoes, gloves, earrings and the animals on Noah's Ark, and spoons and forks, salt-and-pepper shakers, and I am sure there is so much more. But today there is a pair that is going to be coming into the world and those are the TWINS for my Intended Parents.
 I do love the parents reactions with the comments of;
"Two?!!!!  Wow!!!!  This is an amazing day!!  I'm so so happy!!!!!"
"Holy cow!!!!  This is amazing!!!  A little crazy too.  Hahaha.  . . . I'm doing doing backflips here!!!!!"
I love their simple thank yous'.
I can imagine all these years of hard times in tears and and sadness being led to that moment when you hear that not only are you having a baby but you're going to bring home two beautiful babies.
I am doing great as the gestational carrier. I think the only part that has become difficult is the injections. I got the point that my injection sites seemed full and so I moved to a new injection site and all that lead to was difficulty walking. So we are back to the original injection site, it is more comfortable. We are trekking along with a injection end in site. After the 9 week untrasound I will get a weaning schedule that will start one week later. That Ultrasound is only one and a half weeks away so we can just relax and take it easy because there are worse things than a shot.
My simple pleasure right now, when my stomach gives a wave of nausea, is a popsicle, ginger ale, or just a bottle of really cold water. Otherwise I feel great and I am doing great and my family is great because they let me nap without argument.
Congrats to Mom and Dad

"Let It Begin"

 Boy, oh boy, have I been excited to get this ball rolling and now it is rolling. So in anticipation of the day 10 hCG test I, of course, did some pregnancy tests and it was on day seven that a pregnancy test test showed as positive. I am so happy for my Intended Parents, they will be ecstatic.
Then day 10 came and I was very happy to see that the hCG came back at 111.2. Now it is time to wait because there's nothing else to do until the date 20 hCG. The day came and the day went and the results came back at 5569.6. If you're not up on the medical testing lingo that is very good and the intended parents are going to have a BABY.
 As for me, so far so good. I am happy that I have yet to experience any nausea or vomiting which is completely different from my first pregnancy where I threw up every single day from the day I conceived until the day I gave birth which made me very happy that she came four weeks early.  Then my second child I threw up every day from 28 weeks until delivery and my third child was wonderful and I felt fine.
Here are the  symptoms of this pregnancy; I am tired all the time and I occasionally get a headache and I cry often. My husband chuckled at me when he found me laying on the couch bawling while watching Gilmore Girls. I know it is silly but if you've been pregnant before and cried over silly things you know it's a little weird.  As for now I am very happy that I'm not throwing up so far and my coworkers even think it's a little weird but regardless I am not throwing up and I'm going to continue to pray that that doesn't start anytime soon.
So congratulations to dear mom and dad you're going to have a little something to make your family a little bigger, Congratulations!
Until next time I love you