Yesterday was plain awful

You know that song at the end of the show "Annie"
Yesterday was plain awful
You can say that again
Yesterday was plain awful
But that's
Not now
That's then

It really was not that awful. It was more hilariously embarrassing.! Everything would make me tear up. I was talking to a coworker about my children and other family members, got teary. My plans of having a hot dog at lunch were cancelled and I seriously almost cried (don't worry I got one for dinner). My 2.5 year old didn't get her medication for her asthma when I was expecting her to and I cried. My 7 year old was coached by the head team coach at gymnastics which I think is a big deal and I teared up. Then finally in the book I was reading the 18 year old girl was chosen by her boyfriend when his ex-fiancé returned and tried to rekindle that old flame, guess what, I cried.
That was then, not now.
Today is a new day and I was in a non tearful mood and happy and laughing and joking with my coworkers. My children were even super enjoyable at the end of the day 😏and it was great!!! I am sure there are plenty of other women out there who understand this amazing and emotional roller coaster.

Besides just being plain happy! I did have that 20 week appt with the amazing Dr Gundersen 2 weeks ago. Babies look great but baby A is breech so we will have to see if she flips or is set in her ways. The good old uterus measured at a whopping 27 weeks. Wow!!!! Other than that, I have murderous acid reflux which is only occasional so I started taking Zantac when needed. The next appt will be at 24 weeks which is 2 weeks from now I will do the glucose tolerance test. (No the test is not that bad. Regardless of what you mother told you when she did it 20+ years ago). I will most likely pass because I always have but until then!!!!!
HAVE A GREAT DAY

GENDER REVEAL

I am writing this post in the middle of having an ultrasound done. Mom, Dad, and big sister are here to see the little wiggle babies and find out their genders. The guesses so far are; for mom two boys, for dad one of each and for big sister the guess is also two boys.
So far we have A GIRL!!!
If we can get this little girl to roll over we could get a profile of her, otherwise she is healthy and perfect.
We got a small reprieve from her because baby B gave a perfect profile. Now back to Baby A!!!
And Baby B is a GIRL
Two little girls for my Intended Parents!! How exciting!
They are going to have so much fun with them. I should know, I have three girls of my own at home and they are just bundle of hormones and adventure.
This is a happy day
Congrats to my Intended Parents and their family.
Tomorrow is my doctors appt so we will make sure I am doing great at that point but right now babies are perfect!!!

16 weeks

So we have come to the end o of the 16th week of this pregnancy. It seems a little early but I feel the babies moving. Of course like not kicks and punches but more like pressure as they try to take up the same space. It is always such an interesting sensation to experience. I got to send the mom and dad more recordings of the babies heart beats and I know that that they enjoy it so much. I remember hearing my own babies heartbeats and the peace of mind it brought me and the happiness in my heart hearing my sweet daughters.

We are measuring the belly at about 19 weeks which is just about on for 16 week twins. Growing good!!

The next exciting point is when mom and dad make there way back to Idaho falls for the complete ultrasound. That is a very exciting point in the pregnancy because mom and dad get to see baby A and B from head to toe and count all their little fingers and toes and make sure everything has developed, see their little profiles and of course, are they boys? Girls? One of each? Well, next month they will find out!!

This is such an exciting time and I am just greatful that I am allowed to be a part of it!!!

14 Weeks (Some things normal, some things bizarre)

Five weeks ago we had an amazing Ultrasound. I say that it was amazing because I got to be in the same room as my Intended Parents for the first time. I just need to say that I thought they were amazing people via skype and text message but they are even more amazing people in person, so happy and so excited, it is like my soul has known them forever. It was fun to have the ultrasound done with them watching in aww at their little babies on the monitor. I am so excited for them!! 

Since then it has been day in and day out experiences of the average pregnancy. Mostly tired and going to bed by 8:30-9:00pm every night, nausea and the occasional vomiting, food aversions, breast tenderness, round ligament pain, and making sure that Mom and Dad know whats going on. So nothing exciting or monumental. I do, however get super excited when I have a good day and have energy and an appetite, I take advantage of it. Also, I am that stage in the pregnancy where I do not look pregnant, I just look like I am gaining weight. Even though the people around me cannot see it, I can feel the uterus growing, feels like it is a couple finger widths below my belly button, definitely bigger than a single pregnancy.

At 12 weeks I had my routine doctor appointment, now if you have had a pregnancy you know that there are more uneventful visits than there are eventful visits. At 12 weeks the Doctor listened to the heart beats and even tried to get them on the doppler at the same time, I appreciate the effort!! It was nice to be able to inform the parents that their little angels are doing good. The next visit will be at 16 weeks, which is at 2 weeks and that will again be uneventful. It is the 20 week visit in April that should be fun, and hopefully Mom and Dad can either come to or skype into.

Oh, but there are the super crazy fun part about being pregnant and that is the cracked out dreams. The last one that just threw me for a loop was a dream I had about having the babies. I took myself into the side door of a hospital and found an empty room, did my own c-section and had two little girls. Then afterwards I couldn't get anyone who works at the hospital to come close me up because on their records there was no one admitted to that room. Well duh, I let myself in a side door and the room was empty so I took it. The Intended Mom came a short while later and I helped her bundle the little girls up to go home with her and I waved goodbye to them. Then my Doctor came cruising around the corner (obviously late) and wrecked her car in the ditch. It was super weird. Almost as weird as with my last baby that I would take out and cuddle with when I wanted and then would put back when I was done. Ya, pregnancy dreams are bizarre. 

Nope

 My sister asked me a question yesterday "do you wish they were yours?"  I didn't even have to hesitate I just answered "Nope"
 15 months ago when I started this journey the goal I had in my mind was to help a couple have a family.  I knew that it will be emotional.  If we get scientific the emotions are from all those hormones surging  through your body in pregnancy. We are supposed to bond with this unborn life with a beating heart. Then, the need to bond with our newly born child once it's entered this world.
 But what my brain tells me which is beyond science itself is that I am helping create a family and these are not my biological children they belong to a beautiful couple who are the intended parents. And in my heart I can only  see the tears and emotions being happiness and joy as these children go home with their parents . So when I am asked if I wish they were mine I can't even hesitate because I know where they belong and I know what God has intended them for. So, nope they are not mine and I don't wish them to be. I wish them to belong to their mom and dad.
 In the beginning of this when I had my psych consult, which is required to be a gestational carrier, she gave me a word of advice which my husband and I thought was completely brilliant and that is that once the delivery is over and everything is all sorted out that my husband bring my own children in for me to cuddle and bond with and then my body gets what it needs to bond with something.
 I love my children there's no one else in the world I want to be my children they're beautiful and precious and they all have their own little personalities and I love my children completely. But, I'm done having children I do not feel in my heart that desire for more children  like I did before my family was complete. That urge to be baby hungry is gone I'm done so I know that it makes it even more easier for me to help those who are having a hard time or have had a hard time having a family of their own.
To my sister!  That was an excellent question, thank you !!

Ultrasound Results

 Have you ever heard the saying that good things come in pairs? I think I believe that there are shoes, gloves, earrings and the animals on Noah's Ark, and spoons and forks, salt-and-pepper shakers, and I am sure there is so much more. But today there is a pair that is going to be coming into the world and those are the TWINS for my Intended Parents.
 I do love the parents reactions with the comments of;
"Two?!!!!  Wow!!!!  This is an amazing day!!  I'm so so happy!!!!!"
"Holy cow!!!!  This is amazing!!!  A little crazy too.  Hahaha.  . . . I'm doing doing backflips here!!!!!"
I love their simple thank yous'.
I can imagine all these years of hard times in tears and and sadness being led to that moment when you hear that not only are you having a baby but you're going to bring home two beautiful babies.
I am doing great as the gestational carrier. I think the only part that has become difficult is the injections. I got the point that my injection sites seemed full and so I moved to a new injection site and all that lead to was difficulty walking. So we are back to the original injection site, it is more comfortable. We are trekking along with a injection end in site. After the 9 week untrasound I will get a weaning schedule that will start one week later. That Ultrasound is only one and a half weeks away so we can just relax and take it easy because there are worse things than a shot.
My simple pleasure right now, when my stomach gives a wave of nausea, is a popsicle, ginger ale, or just a bottle of really cold water. Otherwise I feel great and I am doing great and my family is great because they let me nap without argument.
Congrats to Mom and Dad

"Let It Begin"

 Boy, oh boy, have I been excited to get this ball rolling and now it is rolling. So in anticipation of the day 10 hCG test I, of course, did some pregnancy tests and it was on day seven that a pregnancy test test showed as positive. I am so happy for my Intended Parents, they will be ecstatic.
Then day 10 came and I was very happy to see that the hCG came back at 111.2. Now it is time to wait because there's nothing else to do until the date 20 hCG. The day came and the day went and the results came back at 5569.6. If you're not up on the medical testing lingo that is very good and the intended parents are going to have a BABY.
 As for me, so far so good. I am happy that I have yet to experience any nausea or vomiting which is completely different from my first pregnancy where I threw up every single day from the day I conceived until the day I gave birth which made me very happy that she came four weeks early.  Then my second child I threw up every day from 28 weeks until delivery and my third child was wonderful and I felt fine.
Here are the  symptoms of this pregnancy; I am tired all the time and I occasionally get a headache and I cry often. My husband chuckled at me when he found me laying on the couch bawling while watching Gilmore Girls. I know it is silly but if you've been pregnant before and cried over silly things you know it's a little weird.  As for now I am very happy that I'm not throwing up so far and my coworkers even think it's a little weird but regardless I am not throwing up and I'm going to continue to pray that that doesn't start anytime soon.
So congratulations to dear mom and dad you're going to have a little something to make your family a little bigger, Congratulations!
Until next time I love you